FRIENDS – OUR BETTER HALF

’No man is an island entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main.’

(John Donne)

This famous line is 400-year-old. It will always stand as a truth, although civilization has changed profoundly since then. We need ‘our people’ no matter what.

WHY ARE FRIENDS SO IMPORTANT?

It’s simple. Can you imagine your life without them? Of course not. Even before the moment we become self-aware, we make friendships. Do you remember your kindergarten days? Maybe faintly. But there are surely some pictures stuck in your head. Interacting with other children. Oh, we were so small, but we knew what we needed. It’s human nature.

WE CANNOT CHOOSE OUR FAMILY, BUT WE CAN CHOOSE OUR FRIENDS.

Another popular line which we discover to be true, as we grow up and take steps in our lives. It is truly interesting that friends are those who stand by our side, when we feel misunderstood or even rejected by our family where we have to play our given roles. A child, a sister, a father… In friendships, we are equal. Because we think alike, feel alike. And that’s how we find each other.

Note: When you find yourself in conflict with a friend, maybe this can be the reason. Just think did someone try to take one of these roles. If it’s a friend, you can nicely explain him/her that you already have one mom and that you already heard those words. You just need someone to listen and be supportive. That is a therapy time. Of course, we have to make difference between those situations and those when friends’ critics are constructive and good for us.

FRIENDS FROM EARLY AGE

…are the ones who know us best. And they are irreplaceable. We went through so much together, like a real ‘war buddies’. The bond between us is solid as a rock. When we make a list of things we are grateful for, these friendships should be somewhere in the top. There are probably periods and changes in life that set us apart, but we know they will be there for us if we truly need them. But we have to work on that. Even if someone is thousand miles away, preoccupied with work and family, do your best to stay in touch. Because this kind of FRIENDSHIPS ARE THERE TO BE CHERRISHED, NOT THROWN AWAY.

Friends from childhood  

FOR BETTER OR WORSE

Our first thought are wedding vows, right? We don’t make friendship vows and don’t have to pronounce these words in front of witnesses. That is understood. But, actually, we can say that these are just some formal differences. And what is the essence? Love and friendship are inseparable. And that’s why our love partners, spouses are often our best friends. When your marriage is built on that foundation, it has way better chances to last and be high-quality.

 friends and lovers

Evening LAT moments. When you sit by your partner, lay your head on his shoulder, and make a ‘confession’, talk about everything that bothered you that day. And he listens, he understands…

PRIVATE LIFE, WORK, HOBBIES

We can categorize our friendships. For example, at work, a good colleague becomes a good friend and while you’re there, he is almost a family. Almost a therapist. It may seem strange if we don’t spread that friendship outside of work. But it’s just something that is designed that way. It is absolutely OK and it is of big importance for us. You have a special connection which do its bit in making you a happier person. Are you going to call your dear co-worker to a family event or something similar? Insignificant. Actually, some things work better when we just stick to their main role and not try to mix them with something else.

But, if you have let your colleague or acquaintance you met at your yoga classes in your life, it is also OK, and it’s natural. Our lives changes, we change, new people show up all the time. We don’t know where will it lead us, and we don’t have to. If we feel it’s good for us at that point, all we have to do is to embrace it. Embrace every joyful moment!

 friends for life

HUGS, LAUGHTER, SECRETS…TEARS OF SADNESS, TEARS OF JOY…

Friendship will put up with it all.

Actually, friendship is like a mosaic made of many parts (some quite opposite). But when you put them together, you get something impeccable, delightful, colorful. Let’s try to always be aware of this beauty. Friends are tremendously valuable. And YOU are valuable to them. Never underestimate yourself and wonder if you are really important in someone’s life. YOU ARE! Love yourself as you love others. One does not exclude the other. There is enough love for everyone.

 friendship

Cherish and nurture your friendships. Share your happiness and share vulnerability.

And once in a while, spend that money you save for your therapy, to take a friend for a dinner. It can pay off – talking and having fun can turn into a cathartic experience. Just Like a Therapy!

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